There was jim beam in your oven. I just preheated it.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
professor came back from spring break missing a tooth
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
i draw the line when you ask for directions at a place you're already at.
Well, I tried to shit into my refrigerator. It was a rough night.
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
I somehow turned head, shoulders, knees, and toes into a sobriety test
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I would just like to say that I was the one who said that we should find scissors, when they were cutting your hair with a kitchen knife. I am responsible.
I still feel bad for it, even though I technically only videotaped it and helped will to distract the questioning neighbor
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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