Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
cat food counts as protein by the way
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
Some girls wake up to good morning texts. I wake up to pictures of an angry Shrek getting a blowjob.
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
Randomize
