Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I wish I could tell you that the worst thing that happened last night was how he got thrown out of a stripclub for vomitting on the girl giving him a private lapdance. I wish I could tell you that and not be lying.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
As we were leaving a memorial service last night he turns to me and says, is it too soon for a post funeral blowie?
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
I was too lazy to get my chapstick out of my purse so i lubed up my lips with pizza grease. On a scale of 1-10 how embarassed should i be?
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
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