guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
so the sex was amazing up until the point where she said "wow, you're even better than your dad!"
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
If it wasn't for the fact that I drink during my lunch break I'm pretty sure I would have quit this job by now
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
Randomize
