he puts the penis in happiness.
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
I need to get a job that holds me accountable for something. Otherwise I wake upon Monday wondering when the booze store opens and if I still have a boyfriend.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
Randomize
