Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
so last night was fun and all.. but you might want to get tested
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
Somedays I wish I were a bird. Then people wouldn't be so grossed out when I vomit
you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I got a letter from the home owners association saying its against policy to have sex on the trampoline.
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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