Erica just called me. She woke up in a storage closet in Mike's building with one shoe and no bag. Can you check your photos from last night to see if she had it at the bar?
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Randomize
