so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I tried to feed the cat bread. I told her it was the body of Christ. That seemed to work.
You don't have a cat...
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
