Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
