I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Randomize
