im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
5am is far to early to be on jagerbomb number 6 right now
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
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