my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
We literally just Chinese fire drilled so I could give him road head.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
