I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I looked at you and you stared at me dead in the eyes then sprayed febreze at your crotch and winked.
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Randomize
