JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
I talked a bachelorette party out of a 4 person bucket of long islands, and drank it by myself. Please call me a taxi. The fat brides maid just grabbed my cock
College students should never be allowed to have snow days. Never.
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
PROFESSOR JUST TOOK A SHOT WITH US BEFORE CLASS. WELCOME TO THE LAST DAY OF FINALS.
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
