C thinks vomiting on the batroom floor = reaon not to party. Lies. Party continues.
You can spell. I can kill people with no remorse. We all have our skills.
He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
If it makes you feel any better about life I'm wearing yoga pants with granny panties and toms with socks cause fuck my life
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I saved a note for myself but all it said was "am I a slutty Holden Caulfield?"
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
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