i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
Can you come over to my place and make up for the crap you called sex yesterday?
Good morning to you
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
Apparently as she was dragging me out of the club, I was clinching onto this european guy screaming at Jenna: that's the 12th time you've cockblocked me tonight
Apparently my Ambien addled brain last night actually did decide to go ahead and photoshop you into various animal and human molesting scenarios. That's a hell of a thing to wake up to.
So I had sex in the woods today. Anything else that happened today? Irrelevant. It was a GOOD day.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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