I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
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