Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
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