I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Let's paint friendship bongs
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
Randomize
