dinner at cheesecake factory: $40. drinks at yard house: $50. having sex in the VG parking lot while people are staring at you awkwardly: priceless. Goodnight.
So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
and I'm going to name my autobiography "blow jobs with enthusiasm are the best"
I'm naming my autobiography "Reasons Not to Date Girls From Texas."
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I gasped. Both pairs of lips did.
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
He's a prodigy! It would be a service to the scientific community.
15 is 15
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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