I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
I just realized I wasn't at the party anymore. I was just sitting there with a vacuum.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
Randomize
