when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
Thanks for that golden cinnamony goodness that flowed from your fake tits last night haha
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
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