Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
I asked him if his doormat had a name, then proceeded to sit on it for the next 30 minutes while signing that magic carpet ride song from aladdin.
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Broken heels while double fisting margaritas, picking up shirtless, bloody men and escorting them out of harms way, the meltdown when I realized I can go without a bra bc my boobs shrunk, the morning vodka red bull you were forced to drink? Which one roped you in?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
