What did we do last night that was yellow?
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
I just washed my birth control down with captain because I don't have any water and I need to wash the blood off my face before I leave my room.....
Remember when I said I had my shit together?
He used the ring emoji and we've gone out four times. What is my life.
I'm wine drunk & this is not good news for anybody
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Randomize
