I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
I have all these new brothers and sisters I'm just now finding out about
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
I have peed in a lot of sinks
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
