loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
maybe i'll see you again later :)
I'd rather shit a knife.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
Last night you were talking while puking saying, "ahh the shoes and the purse, I'm gonna have to wash those"
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
