You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
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