I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
