You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
he confessed his love for me, threw up on my pillow and then fell asleep on said pillow. i met him last night.
better than last weekend. things are really looking up for you.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
Randomize
