i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
