And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
I caught her walking around with a fake mustache, wearing a sombrero and holding an empty carton of milk. She's a hopeless cause.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
You know you can't live off of vodka and pizza rolls forever
I'VE ALREADY MADE MY CHOICE
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
