Already got asked if we're dating
I puked a lego.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
when the police officer said he was gonna take a picture of the car accident, you asked if you should pose on the hood
He gave me his business card. It was a Justin Bieber trading card with his number written in sharpie. I have to call him don't I?
no more duck duck goose at the bar
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
