I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
She tased me when I walked in the door. Thought I was trying to steel her weed.
It only takes once for you to drunkly piss on a chick for her to lose interest in you.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
im drinking tequila tonight so will you babysit my bra?
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
this is the second day the intern has gotten me coffee. he either wants to bang me or thinks I'm more important than I am.
either way he's in for disappointment
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
Randomize
