Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You hooked up with 4 random girls, avoided your grilfriend finding out about it, and dodged traffic on Park Ave. Can you say luck of the Irish?
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
She used a candle as a shot glass.. A FUCKING CANDLE BRO!!
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