and the officer said have you been drinking
and i said NOO SIR.
and he said, I am a woman.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I apparantly wanted to name her baby garbage
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I forgot wine drunk hurts
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
