Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
