i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
woke up in a freezing tub of water at 6 am again. probably should stop the drunk baths
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
IT'S SUMMA TIME
ITS SUMMA TIME NOT BE HIGH ALL THE TIME TIME
THEY'RE THE SAME THING
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
