just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
