If i come over, it means nothing
You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I swear I have "I love assholes" written on my forehead with ink that only guys can see.
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
The notification you get from snapchat that someone took a screenie is like a formal declaration of blackmail.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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