I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
The slot machines are wishing me happy birthday. Mission success.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Randomize
