Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
Plan A DEFINITELY worked... Go with me to get Plan B??
her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I had sex in a panda mask the other night.
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
