Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
