I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I woke up from my nap, looked out my window, and saw about bout 6 people get tasered in less than 20 seconds.....could someone please tell me what's going on.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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