I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
What is this nonsense on the table
Your idea.
I mean the hole taco that was chewed up and spit out
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
