I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
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