im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Dude...that line about her giving me a blowjob to get rid of her hangover actually got rid of her hangover. Spread the word.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
You lifted he top layer off his birthday cake and made it say 'eat me' in the cookie monster voice so yeah he knew.
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
