I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
Dude, I think my check liver light just came on
so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
I got a handjob from a sober married woman in a parking lot in the middle of the day, yet you still cant manage to get laid by a drunk single slut at the bar at 1am. Wtf
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Who wants to play the "pick up your shit from our floor because you're not paying rent or dating either of us" game?
Randomize
