So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
So he sent me a text that said "say hi to your vajayjay for me"
Was there any message he wanted you to relay to your asshole?
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
Randomize
