That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
As soon as I got there, you appeared out of no where, yelled "they're giving away free cigarettes!" in my face and then disappeared and I didn't see you the rest of the night.
She said "I feel like I haven't reached my full potential" and I couldn't figure if she meant in life or with the weed..
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
Congrats, you are the first person our bartender ever met that actually needed wheeled out of a bar in a wheelchair. He said you were his hero.
Randomize
