Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
A DRUNK EMT IS BETTER THAN NO EMT!!!
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
There's a Taco Bell quesadilla in my shower caddy right now.
did i just pee glitter
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Idk I just think that seeing that man's Twitter always resulting in me looking for the whiskey is a bad sign
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