She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
Sorry, but you probably shouldn't come over. I'm too sober for this.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
