it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
i just ran butt naked down the hall and someone highfived me. i love college.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
