Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
Randomize
