You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
His sex texting was like a step by step guide to the most boring sex ever...
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
he called us the olsen twins. we also rapped ignition much to his dismay.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
BTW, Julia referred to you as a power bottom. Are you available?
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
