I hope i woe up in your car, or else i stole someone elses and slept in the back seat
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
I woke up with a random mailbox in my room with a note that said "this should probably be returned. Happy Thursday!"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
